


Only When He's Sleeping

by Wawa_Girl



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Apologies, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Sappiness, Spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 07:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10917147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wawa_Girl/pseuds/Wawa_Girl
Summary: All she knew was that she breathed a sigh of relief when she found Peter Quill to be sound asleep. It was the only way she trusted herself to do this.





	Only When He's Sleeping

_The Milano_ had never felt so quiet. Their humble home rarely felt so still. It was almost as though the entire ship and its occupants were placed on mute. Lucky for the lone female of the group who was heading silently, but with purpose, to a key destination.

She didn't know why she was entering his room at this late hour. She didn't know why she had been doing, saying, or thinking many things ever since she joined this team.

All she knew was that she breathed a sigh of relief when she found Peter Quill to be sound asleep. It was the only way she trusted herself to do this.

Gamora walked toward his small bed, slowly as to control the sound of each step, and seated herself when she was close enough to have a clear view of his face, fresh battle scars present unlike the ones hidden beneath the wool. She didn't fear waking him. Exhaustion from the events of the past few days would leave him out like a moon rock for the entire night.

 _'I guess even a former half-god needs beauty rest?'_  she almost began, making her wonder how he had influenced her enough that she would even _think_  to begin something serious with a teasing remark.

She instead went straight to the point and said, softly, "I'm sorry."

It was simple, and didn't cover nearly what it was intended, but it was a start.

The rest came naturally from there.

"I'm sorry I pushed you to see Ego," she elaborated, still speaking softly as to not disrupt him at this moment. "I'm sorry about what he did to your mother," she continued solemnly, the story he told repulsive beyond comprehension. "I'm sorry about this entire mess it resulted in and all the unnecessary pain--" she began to ramble and had to calm herself, as well as check her volume. "I only wanted for you to be happy."

Gamora had never been one for apologies; believed them to be a sign of weakness, an act of failure to verbally show remorse. But Peter had explained before, when Drax and Rocket seemed particularly perturbed by the habit, that on Earth it was a simple display of manners when a person felt they had hurt someone or done something wrong. (Well, he had actually phrased it: _'Because when someone's been behaving like a freakin' a-hole fifty times an hour for the past week, throwing out a 'sorry!' is the least they can do, ya little devil skunk,'_ but her interpretation seemed to match.)

And while she knew the catastrophe that arose from Peter's reunion with his father was not entirely her blame, and rationally he had made his own decision like a grown-ass man, and she was only being supportive based on the evidence at the time, she could not help the guilt. She couldn't shake or annihilate the responsibility she felt over every trouble faced due to the celestial god with whom she encouraged their team member to bond.

Because he was more than just her team member. When Peter was hurt, she felt an overwhelming anger at the cause, an overwhelming guilt at her part, an overwhelming desire to protect, to nurture, to comfort, and--

She knew what he would want her to say. If Mantis' powers were accurate - to which Gamora was a touch skeptical - and her innocent statement of his feelings were true, then Peter would want nothing more than to hear them reciprocated.

But she couldn't yet. It wouldn't feel honest.

The last thing she would do was disappoint him further.

"It's not that I don't _want_  to say what you wish me to. I just don't know if what I feel for you is...is that...that L-word," she admitted wholeheartedly. "Not because these feelings aren't strong or certain, but because that emotion is so unfamiliar to me. I haven't been trained to recognize it."

 _'Maybe you could help me,'_  she considered adding, but it would be pushing it. Not like it mattered.

"I know it is doubtful that you can hear any of this while you're asleep, rendering it pointless. I don't know why I am saying it now. Probably because it's the only time I _can_  without you interrupting with an obnoxious joke or a vainglorious 'I told you so' dance," she teased and smirked at the thought.

"But to be truthful, if we had lost you..." she said quieter, seriousness returned, "I don't know how much longer I would have been able to go on myself. How I could have continued to live with myself."

She didn't like thinking of this alternate outcome, so she stopped and swallowed.

She had resisted taking his hand so not to wake him, but eventually did so gently, trusting his exhaustion great enough to keep him in deep slumber even while being physically touched. "You're my best friend, Star-Lord."

It wasn't quite the line Peter had been anticipating, nor the one shouting in the back of her brain, but she knew it was the closest she would get to a love confession for now. Perhaps it was better. It was the most sincere one she could muster.

The rest would remain their "unspoken thing."

She noticed the leader's head move to the side and slowly let go of his hand, gently slipping her fingers away and silently standing. She'd said what she needed. It may have been an exercise for only herself without the other party hearing her words, but she felt accomplished. She felt free. Felt as at peace as the man in bed appeared after their latest adventure. Time to get her own rest before another round of speeding from enemy pursuits, drawing the blood of monsters, and _several_  rounds of five-way bickering.

Time to get to her own quarters before the crashing sounds of Rocket chasing Groot throughout the ship awoke Quill and he discovered her violating his privacy in a way he would surely joke about not minding at all.

The woman turned to look at him one last time when she reached the exit. "I'm also sorry for what he did to your Walkman," she added, its origin having been the first personal thing he ever shared with her. "I was actually warming up to the idea of dancing to it," she finished, letting herself smile as she quietly slid his door closed behind her and strode to her own.

Once the faint echo of her footsteps died out, Peter finally allowed himself to open his eyes. He smiled after what felt like an eternity of holding it in.

Every response of _'Apology accepted'_ and _'Hey, we did what you said; he was evil, so we killed him'_ and _'I know, it's not your fault, although if we ever land ourselves in a similar predicament I'll decline the invite and stay inside babysitting our tree toddler for the weekend regardless of your opinion'_ that he would have made, had she allowed him the courtesy of this conversation when she thought he was awake, didn't matter.

If this was how Gamora chose to communicate her feelings, when the friend in question was presumed to be unconscious, so be it. It beat stone cold indifference, and it would not create an issue in the future. He dared not to speak of this the following morning, if he didn't want a green knee in the groin.

 _'It's okay,'_ he instead thought in response to her last comment. _I have plenty more music now, if you still want to learn._

**Author's Note:**

> What in the name of the Groot am I doing?! I'm supposed to be working on my next _Welcome to Night Vale_ fanfic, and here I am throwing together a Marvel movie drabble in one day? I'm not a comic book or superhero nerd! I don't write fanfics in _one day!_ I didn't even write it in a notebook first, I just woke up and started typing--what the?!
> 
> But _Guardians of the Galaxy_ has _really_ been messing with my heart, and UGH, I love these guys so much.
> 
> I finally saw the first one at a free library showing almost three weeks ago (and loved it), and then saw Volume 2 in theaters on Sunday (also loved it, obviously). I woke up early around 6 A.M. yesterday and this was on my brain, so I immediately started typing it, and yeah...voila!
> 
> As stated, I know _nothing_ about comic books or the animated series, so this is _just_ based on the two movies. And even then, if it's not perfectly in-tone or in-character, I didn't spend nearly as much time on it as I do my other fics for shows I'm far more invested in and familiar with, since I've only seen each of these movies once. Yep.
> 
> This may be the only GotG fic I write and/or publish, but if you really enjoyed it, please comment telling me so, and I may consider writing another short one. Thanks for reading and rock on!
> 
> My _Guardians of the Galaxy_ tumblr is [here](https://marypoppinswasmyfatherbitches.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
